Flying

I know this blog has pretty much gone neglected for most of the fall semester— but I'm doing my best to revive it now. I did a lot of writing this past semester for my classes and for the CU Independent, so I sort of forgot to write for my own enjoyment. But now I'm home in Annapolis for Christmas break, sitting by the fire and the decorated tree with my grandma. And I can't think of a more relaxing thing to do than write.

This semester has been different than any other at school. I've started to prioritize sleep and manage my time so I feel less constantly stressed. I don't go out as often, but I've had just as much fun at roommate/team move nights and I haven't had to deal with so many hangovers (yuck). I've worked hard to get back in shape after Italy, and I finally feel like I'm back where I was this time last year, fitness-wise. This semester I grew closer with my teammates, took classes that I actually liked, and took more time to myself. Now that I'm home for break, I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to relax and recharge before Boulder spring. It sounds like I've been more like an old lady than a college kid this fall, but it was really what I needed.

I'm not anxious to be back in Colorado yet, either. Normally I get tired of being home pretty fast— I miss the independence of college life and I miss having my team around to motivate me. But this is the first time I've been home since summer, and I want it to last. I'm better at motivating myself than I used to be: I know that a good workout will always make my day happier and make me more pleasant to be around, so I usually make it happen. But Italy also taught me that it's okay to take a break, so I won't make training my life right now. Christmas break is about family, friends, and the comforts of home, so workouts are really just for my own sanity :)

And once I get back to Boulder, I have so much to look forward to. My roommate and friend Hilary is coming home from Spain, trading places with Veronica in the house at Whitney Place (though I'll miss V too!) I'm going to be an editor for the CU Independent sports section, and the basketball season is about to get into full swing. The tri team retreat is in February, with all the team bonding/partying/snowshoeing that it always entails. Then we have another time trial, regionals at Lake Havasu in March, and finally Nationals in April— back to back to back in 'Bama ;)

My friend Kari and I were playing a board game the other day. I had to answer the question "If you could have one superpower, what would it be?," and one of the choices was eternal optimism. I chose that one, since "challenges are the joys of life." Kari's response: "I feel like the fact that you just said that means you're probably already an optimist." She has a point...

So my superpower of choice, in the end? Flying.

Give and take,
Caryn

Team

I've been home in Maryland for almost three weeks now. I think I can actually hear Boulder calling my name. I fly back out west tomorrow, and I couldn't be more ready. After finals week, all I wanted to do was come home, relax in my own bed, and work out on my own time. Now, though, I miss having a schedule, being busy, and most of all, training with my team. I have some of the best teammates in the world. They keep me motivated and accountable, and they give me a positive boost when I'm having an off-day. It's much easier to get through the last yards of a swim workout while listening to Rihanna's pep talks than it is to do it alone. It's a lot more fun to run 12 hilly miles while Bobka is by your side saying ridiculous things like, "I just love working hard on a beautiful day!" And it's 10 times more enjoyable to ride bikes outside with Morgan and talk about boys than it is to suffer through a spin class that starts before the sun is up.

Triathlon is not usually a team sport, but those of us on the CU Tri Team know how great it is to have a group of people to practice with and someone to race for other than yourself. Even if we only saw each other at practice, we would be spending an average of 1-4 hours together every day. But that's usually not enough for us. We have team potlucks every week, we hang out together on the weekends, some of us even live together. We see each other at our absolute best and absolute worst, when we feel triumphant after doing well in a race or when we want to die in the middle of a hard workout. My teammate Morgan, who's also part of a sorority, told me her brother bet her once that she was closer with her teammates than with her sorority sisters. When she asked why, he said that the kind of person who can be this dedicated to a sport must be a dedicated friend. I think that's true, and it describes people on our team really well. It takes a certain kind of commitment (and, okay, insanity) to be a triathlete, and that quality also makes us close with each other as friends. That helps explain why I train and race so much better when I'm with my team than when I'm alone.

So, bottom line, I've had enough of this training alone thing. I miss my motivators and friends. And after a well-deserved and fully enjoyed rest, I'm ready to get back to the grind with my team as we start the countdown to Havasu. See ya later, Annapolis!

Give and take.
Caryn

Music

The one thing I can always count on to get me through a workout is a great playlist. I like anything that makes me feel strong or competitive, and of course anything with motivating lyrics. High energy is a must. Here are some of my favorites on my current running mix and why they work for me:

1) We Just Won't Be Defeated - The Go Team: I first heard this song as the background music for a YouTube video of the 2008 girl's Foot Locker cross country final. When I listen to it, I think of Allie McLaughlin pushing the pace for most of the race and how easy she made it look.

2) My Time - Fabolous ft. Jeremiah: This was my contribution to last year's Tri Team Nats Mix. Last February, I had a really bad day during a time trial that was a Nats team qualifier. I wanted to make up for it at Havasu, to prove that the TT was just an off day and that I had Nats team potential. "Go hard today, can't worry about the past 'cause that was yesterday..." I was the 6th CU girl to finish at Havasu, and I scored for the team in my first real triathlon. :)

3) Hello, Good Morning - Dirty Money ft. T.I.: This song is especially good for 6:30 am Thursday practices. It wakes me up for the dark ride to the Rec and gets me energized for drylands and a hard swim.

4) Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi: I listened to this song on weekend mornings last spring while I got ready for our loooong brick or track workouts. I had it stuck in my head during our hardest brick workout last year. We climbed Lee Hill and Old Stage multiple times, then headed to the track for 5x1 mile at race pace. After that horrible/wonderful day, it became my favorite hill-climbing song.

5) Till I Collapse - Eminem ft. Nate Dogg: My favorite for spinning or long tempo runs. The beat keeps me from slowing down and the lyrics make me feel strong. I don't care what anyone says, Eminem still has some of the best pump-up music out there.

6) Kick, Push - Lupe Fiasco: This song helped me through Flagstaff Fridays several times last semester. It's all about a kid who discovers a talent and works at it until he's a pro.

7) Black and Gold - Sam Sparro: I still don't know what this song actually refers to, but when I hear it, I think of CU and how proud I am to be a part of the Colorado Tri Team. I picture myself at Havasu in my CU jersey, passing someone on the run while they think about how good our team is. ;)

8) Black and Yellow - Wiz Khalifa: See #7.

9) Show Me the Money - Petey Pablo: I think violin sounds SO cool in hip hop songs, and this song pretty much does it perfectly. It's from the movie Step Up (feel free to laugh at me), and I love it for intervals.

10) Better Than Her - Matisse: My song when I'm feeling competitive. Even though I just did the sprint race last year at Nats, it felt pretty cool to pass so many Texas A&M girls in their ridiculous zebra-striped uniforms!

11) Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap: The morning of Nats, I was in a car with Jesse Prather, Sharanya,  Courtney, and Rihanna from the hotel to the race parking area. As we pulled up, we played this song with the windows down. It was just starting to get light out, and athletes from all teams were nervously unloading, warming up, and preparing their transition areas. Ever since then, this song has captured that quiet excitement for me, a combination of nerves and energy ready to let loose.

I could go on with about 30 more songs, but I'll save those for a later post or else I'll be here all day. I will end with a word to my iPod: Thanks, you wonderful little purple rectangle. You make training alone this break so much easier. :)

Give and take.
Caryn

Priorities

I'm a busy college student, journalist, and member of the Triathlon Team at the University of Colorado, and I ride a roller coaster of motivation from day to day. Sometimes I'm focused, determined, and inspired, and sometimes I just need a day to chill. I started this blog on a whim, and I don't know if it'll really go anywhere. For now, it's just a place for me to ramble. Half the time, I will talk about how amazing triathlon is, how I get a rush of endorphins every time I train, how much I love accomplishing a goal, etc. The other half, I will vent about the crazy mindset we triathletes have that makes taking a day off seem like a crime, and how I deal with that mental back-and-forth every day.

In some ways, I'm more driven than most people. I go to practice often, and I work hard. I know how to dig deep and give it my all. I do triathlon because my teammates are awesome and my coach believes in me, because I love the person I am when I'm healthy and the power I feel when I'm high on endorphins. But sometimes, like anyone who's human, I have my motivational fails. I take a day off now and then, not necessarily because it's built into my training schedule, and not necessarily because I can't find the time. Sometimes I'm just not feeling it, for one reason or another. Like today. I was just really comfortable lying on the couch watching Friends with my family this Christmas break morning, and the windy winter outside my door looked really unappetizing for a run. So I stayed snuggled in my blanket and watched a couple more episodes. I had all the time in the world today to get a workout in, but something was telling me it didn't need to be a priority today. And as wonderful as it was to relax, I still felt a little guilty. Because of my team, my coach, and my own compulsion to stay in shape, I still feel like I need a legitimate excuse every time I take a day off. At first, just feeling like chilling and indulging in a little couch time is a good enough reason for me to skip a run. I'm not like a lot of my other teammates, who can't remember their last day off - I usually take one to two every week, and they're generally not scheduled, they just happen. I compensate by working hard in later workouts, and my days off don't make me slow or out of shape. A lot of the time, though, I regret skipping and feel badly the rest of the day. This is an ongoing struggle I have, and it's the subject of my blog.

When these days happen, I like to take a step back and look at my priority list: 

- To be competitive on my team, to represent CU at Collegiate Nationals, you have to work hard and you have to be pretty darn fast. We have over 100 dues-paying members, and only the top 7 guys and top 7 girls make the team each year. I missed the No.7 spot by a minute last year. As disappointed as I was last spring, that minute set up a great goal for me this year - to be on Nats Team 2011. We are even better as a team this year than we were in 2010, so if I make the cut, I'll be especially proud of myself. And even if I don't, training alongside such fast athletes will make me much faster in the process. I work hard every practice with this goal in mind, and it keeps me excited about the sport. So making Nats Team is a priority, and I need to be ready to give it my all at our next time trial and at Regionals in March if I want to reach it.

- Before I even knew what Nats Team was, though, I joined Tri Team for other reasons. I was a spring track runner for all of high school, but I wasn't competitive until senior year, and even that was only on tiny-private-school level. I played soccer in the fall until junior year, and switched to cross-country my senior year. That cross-country season changed my life. I ran every day, lost 15 pounds, and discovered a talent I never really knew I had. I won the first cross-country race I ever ran in, and the season kept getting better. My fastest time that season was just under 21 minutes. At the time, I thought that was good, but now I know that if I had run for all of high school and had better competition, it could've been 2 or 3 minutes faster. I ran through the winter (which I never did before senior year), had my best track season ever, and didn't want to let it all go when I went to college. I knew I needed a team, but at the time D1 cross-country was unrealistic. So I joined Tri Team with a small running background, and learned how to swim and bike from scratch. I trusted the team's website, which told me I could join even if I felt like drowning after swimming a 25 or only had a rusty old mountain bike to ride. Starting out in the sport, all I wanted to do was stay in shape and be on a team. I never knew how much I would improve. I'm a better runner now than I've ever been - I wish I could have another season each of cross-country and track just to prove it. These goals, though - to stay healthy and be on a team - will probably follow me throughout my life.

- Outside of training, though, I have other responsibilities. When I'm at school, my life is nonstop. I go to practice almost every day, sometimes twice a day. I interview athletes and write articles for the CU Independent student newspaper at least once a week. I head the Communications Team for CU SportsMag, which meets twice weekly. I just finished a semester with University Choir. And oh, yeah, I'm a full time student - the real reason I'm in college, which I sometimes forget. I love my busy life, and I don't want to give anything up. I get depressed when my life isn't hectic enough. But I'll be the first to admit that it can be overwhelming sometimes. 

- Finally, life isn't all about responsibility. Life is about living. It's important to me to spend time with my roommates, my friends, and my family. I go out on the weekends because it's FUN and carefree and it seems like the only time in the week that I'm not living by a schedule (but even then, if I stay out too late, I might sleep through morning practice...) And it's not just partying. One of the biggest reasons I chose Colorado for school is its outdoorsy feel. I love climbing, hiking, mountain biking. Last year, I let the fall weather get away before I got many chances to enjoy the mountains sans-snow. I didn't realize that snow would hang around until April. This year, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let triathlon prevent me from taking advantage of some of the other stuff that makes me who I am. So, for instance, the Sunday morning that my team did an "easy run up Flagstaff," I climbed the First Flatiron with a friend (and fellow teammate) and didn't regret it at all. If I wanted to, I probably could've seen my team struggling from my spot overlooking all of Boulder. :)

So when I make a choice, like I did today, not to prioritize working out every day of Christmas Break, it takes a lot of effort to convince myself that that's okay. On the one hand, I hear my coach saying B3, B3, B3, telling us that a National Championship isn't won in April, it's won in December and January. I hear him telling us that he's scheduling a time trial for the week we get back to see how much we've been training. I remember the one minute that stood in the way of me and Nats Team last year. On the other hand, I hear my mom telling me to take it easy, to enjoy Christmas BREAK and the holiday season instead of worrying about workouts. I remember that Havasu isn't until March and that one day won't make that much of a difference yet. I predict the stress and craziness that will be spring semester, and I can't help but savor the feeling of sleeping in and watching Friends all day. Come our next time trial, I might have to work a little harder and dig a little deeper to compensate, but hey, that's what I'm good at. 

Give and take.

Caryn